I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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