Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
