my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
