sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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