Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
