You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So apparently I’m into choking now
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
