how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
