He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
