We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
