Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
