My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
