Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
