Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
