We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You're so nebulous sometimes
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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