let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Randomize
