I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize