then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize