i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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