What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I looked at my own cervix.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Holy sore nipples Batman
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
