Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
