i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
