So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize