I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
