There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
