She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
