i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
