nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
