Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize