As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
