Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
