peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
