If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Randomize
