Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
