I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
