Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Your penis caused this!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
