So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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