I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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