Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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