SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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