I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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