You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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