My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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