3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
