3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
