I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
