The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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