took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
