So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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