Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
