Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
