What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize