Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
wow bdsm is so cute
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
