Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
