At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
