She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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