i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
