well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
