# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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