I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
