I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
