He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
