Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Randomize
