I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
