White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I have already put on my inside pants.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
