I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
