no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize