guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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